Starbuck is Dead

starbuck is dead

Oh I do loves me some strong coffee.  In America, we used to have this amazing machine that giveth some perfect espresso every morning.  It’s gone now as are my yuppie years (and we ponder what an aging yuppie will become.  A “Guppie”, geriatric-urban-professional?  A “Muppie”, maturing-urban-professional? ).  As we settle into peasant farming life, you really must arrange your caffeine consumption to match your economical means with your palette.  After much research involving (close your eyes Michael) instant coffee, stovetop espresso, “French” press and drip machine among other crazy concoctions, we settled on this combination:

–        drip coffee machine

–        cheapest Arabica “doux” you can find

There is a very cheap “robusta” you can buy, but WOO BOY, don’t go there.  Bitter.  Yuck.  Doux (pronounced “doo” and if it’s cheap you call it “disco doo”) is the entry point to great coffee.  I picked up the cheapest filter coffee pot I could find and here are the problems:

–        horrible fill trough

–        small heating plate, coffee gets cold

–        only makes ten cups.  If you have four kids and herd of cattle, you need a lot of coffee.  More than ten cups.

So I bought Starbuck.  She was a tall, orange, drink-a-water with a horrible logo.  We popped a little mermaid sticker that Lucy had laying around to cover her brand. Knowing her coffee would never achieve coffee mogul-dom, we called her Starbuck.  Her fill trough stills sucks, but oh she made the coffee fast, kept it warm and delivered a stellar cup every morning two pots at a time.  At one point, we didn’t trust her.  In haste, we replaced her with a crap filter machine and stuck her out in the rain.  The replacement turned out to be a cheap weekend fling.  With apologetic wipes and a used replacement carafe, we brought Starbuck back in to fulfill the job she was built to do.   And she delivered.  I cleaned her every Sunday.  But this Monday was different.  She didn’t complete her brew.  She pooped out.  She became fatiguée.  After four cups she stopped.  I tried to revive her with all I knew how.  Silence.  She was gone.

R.I.P. Starbuck.  We laughed.  We cried.  We kissed twenty bucks good-bye.

… and with good YouTubeWars ammunition, we solute you with this … if you can replace “red” with “orange” it’ll all fall into place

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7 thoughts on “Starbuck is Dead

  1. bizzyella says:

    I swear by my Rowenta Brunch, which makes filter coffee and drips the brew into a thermos — no nasty heating plate. Okay, it’s more than 20 bucks, or euros even, but oh what a nice pot, and way cheaper than my Jura Capresso, which is waiting patiently for me, back in the States. That’s a lotta commas but you get my drift.

      • Jean Curtis says:

        okay ms., I went with a Rowenta. So far, AMAZING! We opted-out of the thermo pot and opted-in for a timer. 6am has never felt so good. I love my Rowenta. Now we search for a name. “Silver Bullet” is on the table.

      • bizzyella says:

        Wow. Silver Bullet is quite a mouthful, especially at 6 a.m. For something that, bless its sainted electronic heart, made my coffee for me every single morning, I’d probably go for something simple like Jeeves — or, if I felt daring, Roscoe. Well, yeah, for me it would be Roscoe. Most French people won’t get the reference, so it’s pretty safe. No matter what you call it, I hope it lasts forever. My reputation is on the line!

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