Reentry

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Rentrée.  This is French for “back to school.”  Only this time they’re all back to school.  Little Z with her mom-cut fringe ( because she refuses the hair clip. “NO AIR KIP!!” ), is off with her kitty bag whooping it up at school.  No, no, no tears were shed by her.  Off she went.  “Where is Zélie?” I say as I adjust her coat and bag on the hook.  Oh, she’s off in the classroom working out her plan to dominate and conquer.  Me?  I’m blinking back the tears as my little munchkin spends the day with fun, friends and new learning.
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They call it insecure attachment.  Though the attachment problem is not with her, it’s me.  This house has been filled with Miss Z way back when we first moved in and started this farm.  Now, just the two of us.  We will make it if we try.  Keeping up with all the projects on this farm is fun, hard, challenging, exciting. But first, some lunch. Let’s go out! Oh merde, our lunch place is closed! Back home to eat, plan and get stuff done.

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I had visions of courtyard tidy and fence line clean up. I could work on the chicken fence or do some improvements to the pens with Brent. I could give Tosca a long walk around the paddocks. Yet, I did none of those things. We ate some lunch. Sold some beef. I cleaned up a bit. Okay, I was a bit low.

Over lunch, Brent played some incredibly amazing seventies music show from England that I can’t quite name and probably shouldn’t if I could. Let’s say it was aired when “jazz flute” was King. Soon enough Leo Sayer came on. “I know that voice,” I say, “what did he sing?” Then, Brent youtubed up the Leo Sayer songbook. The song that woke the neuron that energized my brain storage for “L_Sayer” triggered upon hearing the first few notes of “When I Need You.” I just closed my eyes.

Suddenly, it was time to collect the children. Our evening song and dance was on. Lucy was yapping. Otto was puzzling. Minty was singing. Zélie was jumping. Happy kids. Happy place.

I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day

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3 thoughts on “Reentry

  1. mike williams (@memeweaver) September 3, 2013 / 11:11 pm

    I know exactly what they’ve been up to out of your sight, Yesterday I came home to find that someone had spray-tagged my fence with the name “Minty”.

    One of my junior high school English teachers used to give us Leo Sayer song lyrics to study as poetry. I had to wait years until I was introduced to proper jazz flute music by a Jethro Tull-loving teacher.

  2. Steve M September 3, 2013 / 11:18 pm

    Best post ever.

  3. grasspunk September 4, 2013 / 4:51 am

    It was a somber day. Nothing felt right. Jean had no shadow to watch out for. We had to come up with conversation beyond “Where’s Zelie?”

    Alongside all this was the feeling that after eleven years we were out of that baby phase forever, and instead of feeling triumphant we just felt old.

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