France Likes To Fuck With You, Exhibit B



Behold, the comma used as a decimal point.  Not just any decimal point, a French decimal point.  Too stalky and pointy for any catwalk, they needed a more curvy, sexy version to tell when Euros stop and centimes begin.  Above, is One hundred and seven Euros. Zero implied, it could be one hundred and seven thousand mumble in the eye of the dollar. And it confuses me and my computer all the time.  Microsoft Excel, gawdblessem, does their very best to make this right, but they got it so wrong.  My fellow Americans, in France, a comma is a decimal point.  A decimal point is a comma.  Discuss…  

… yes yes yes, on this hard, French tile, I cracked a screen (again … shut up Kevin ). I’m still in mourning.

France Likes To Fuck With You


Over the years, in many friendly supermarkets, I’ve heard “fuck you ” songs blaring as I grab some milk and finish my shopping. C-Lo, Lily Allen … In our area, not many French people speak English.  Though I’m pretty certain they know the f-word.  I’m not sure how these songs are played in America, but I imagine, they are *bleeped*.  Fuck is a pretty strong word in America.  Not something you drop in a typical conversation.  The word “shit” is similar for Americans.  The French “shit” equivalent, “merde” isn’t as taboo.  It’s our “crap.”  I can only assume they feel the same way about “fuck” … this is totally based on the frequency in which I hear the word “fuck” in light conversation and on the radio.

So, when I tuned into RADIO FG, playing the sweet sounds of Billy Ocean, working out the logistics of getting out of my dreams and into my car …  they brought me back in, speaking English with a French accent, “Radio FG, FUCKING GOOD music.”  Thanks France!  Thank you for fucking with me!

It’s A Beautiful Day-Hog



I really, embarrassingly enjoyed the movie Groundhog Day.  I’ve seen it enough times to feel like I’m stuck in that Punxsutawney Pause.  If you’ve not seen this movie, take note that every morning, the main character wakes up to the same song “Babe” by Sonny and Cher.  Followed by a morning wake-up crew announcing, ” IT’S GROUNDHOG DAY!!”  Spoken like my five-year-old before dawn.  Two days into school year 2016, my husband has set an alarm.  Which is really cool because I’ve been the alarm setter of the past.  One at 6am to gently wake my slumber.  iPhone snooze too short, I set a 6:30 am- girl, you better get your ass outta bed alarm.  Both alarms standard factory default yamp-yamps.  Though, the last two days have been welcomed with song.  From the better half.  It’s a beautiful day.  We used to set our radio alarm clock ( I know, old school ) to the tunes of something, but each morning the tunes were something different.  Not this year.  Two days, same song.   Beautiful Day, the U2 song, performed by World Idol winner, Kurt Nilsen.  Groundhog day.  I had no idea that this would be great.  Electronically scheduled daily affirmation.  Just the one song.  It’s a beautiful day.  Well, okay then.  Better get to it.