Dear Canon,

Bon Jour à tous!

I am but a humble farmer and let me tell you, I LOVE  the color yellow!  Love it!
Yellow is the color of France in July with the beautiful sunflowers.

Yellow is a well crafted, free-range egg yolk fresh from the chicken’s bum.

Yellow is the color of this festive balloon played with by a slightly ignored third child. Oh but we love her ever more.

Yellow surrounds this happy group digging up stuff with our digger.


Yellow is the color of my husband’s shirt as he gently handles the cattle.

Yellow is the color that peeks through on a snowy day from our tractor.

Yellow lies at the end of the Tarte aux Pommes rainbow

You see, I’m a huge fan of yellow and a fan of all colors for that matter.  And, yes, I will replace your ink cartridge, it’s in the mail. But I need a black and white copy, you see.  A fresh black tank has been clicked in. So simple.  It’s very black and white.  Yet, you deny me.  I feel like a hostage in your global ink domination. I’ve asked a friend to help with copies.  I am ready to scan, Mr. C, can I call you Mr. C?  Adding insult to injury, you won’t let me scan.  I cannot scan, man.  I cannot scan.

Another Story To Deflect Taxi Driver Conversations


“I bought this bunny basket on sale for two Euros.” These are the words you use to shield yourself from further conversation with semi-private public transport. Other top hits include:
” I bought this ten dollar shirt on sale for five dollars.”

And the classic

” My cat [ beat ] eats dog food. ”

But I really did buy that bunny basket for two bucks as I take hold of France on sale. Look, I have four kids all in need of Easter Bunny happenings. It’s a good fit that I find a squishy bunny basket for my bubby bub.
So please, no comments. Let us enjoy the moment that is bunny-basket-on-sale and leave it at that.

YouTube Wars

It’s a simple game.  A song with a video that does any of the following:


–        sticks in your head like a little robot bug inserted into your ear demanding that you whistle or hum the chorus throughout the day or you will be punished

–        Is so bad that it has you appreciating its reason for existence ( see see my baby jive a complete clash of Abba pop meets Gwar)

–        Is a damn good song that you would prefer never disclosing your excitement with friends


There are more rules, but they evolve.  You just need to feel it.



Not shockingly, most winning YouTube Wars material comes from the “pre-auto-tune” days.  Once you hit the “back to life” beat, all music goes downhill until you hit Nirvana where the artists can actually play an instrument.  We are a bit stuck at the moment while we wait for the next Nirvana or Beatles or Winehouse.  In the meantime, I’ll stick to the early eighties and below to give you this gem that still ceases to amaze and astonish my being.  The leg warmers. ( worn by dudes! ).  The whistling.  The clap double clapping.  The Jazzercize. For you … Hot Chocolate, Girl Crazy :